My Struggle to be Present

I am here, waiting. There is so much I wish to tell you, but you haven’t stilled yourself in so long you can barely hear Me. Wisdom is all around you, readily available, but you must ask and then listen – with your heart. If you would just listen to Me, listen for Me, you would have all the guidance, all of the answers that you need.

If you’ve read my previous posts, you’ll know that I love the benefits that I’ve reaped from meditation. When things aren’t going the way that I want or the way that I hope, I get huge comfort from the messages that I receive, from the universal wisdom that I’ve been so lucky to tap in to. So I’m more than a little ashamed to admit that these days, the last thing I want to do is meditate or be present. I’d much prefer to pull the covers up over my head or otherwise distract myself than deal with what’s going on in the world, in my life.

With the uncertainty of the coronavirus pandemic, the heartbreak of social injustice, and the questionable state of the economy, it feels more challenging than ever to stay present and be mindful. To me, it seems like distractions are everywhere. But the reality is that I consciously create my own distractions, actively seek ways to disconnect. I’ve spent far too much time over the last few weeks desperately looking for ways to tune out rather than tune in to what really matters. I’ve become a victim of my own inner turmoil. I’ve made conscious choices to focus on the hype and spin and drama that make it hard to get out of bed every day, rather than to focus on the wisdom and guidance and encouragement that I know are readily available. I’ve let my relationship with my Higher Power, with God, fall by the wayside, passing up countless opportunities to connect, countless opportunities to find peace at a time when I need it the most.

So today I’m making a commitment to try a little harder to be present, to look for the beauty and the joy that still exist in everyday life. I’m making a renewed commitment to fostering a relationship and a practice that have provided innumerable benefits over the past few years. Given that my mind manufactures chaos every chance that it gets, I may not be sitting down, chanting the Om Shanti Om, and basking in inner peace anytime soon. But I will be actively looking for ways to settle my mind, open my heart, and hear the reassurance, advice, and unconditional love that are always being offered to me.