On Being Yourself

You live in fear of being your wonderful, magnificent self. Why? Why do you not see, do you not let yourself see, how amazing you are? Your potential is limitless, your gifts are many. You have so much to offer the world. Stop denying yourself, stop making yourself small, stop pretending that you are insignificant, that you don’t matter. You do. You matter. Far more than you allow yourself to believe.

For some of us, there’s nothing more terrifying than the idea of living authentically, accepting ourselves for who we are, how we are - flaws and all - and letting others see it too. It feels so much easier, sometimes, to present a carefully edited version of ourselves to the world, doesn’t it? A perfect facsimile, minus our perceived flaws and foibles, the things that cause us secret shame and pain. This allows us to show up without really showing up, and to participate, but only from the sidelines. We think this lessens our chances of getting hurt or rejected. But what it really does is lessen our chances of making real connections with others. Because while no one has to witness our flaws, no one gets to experience our true beauty and splendor (and quirkiness!) either.

I wasted a lot of years wanting to be different than I was, wishing that I was anyone but me. Past hurts had taken a toll and I was haunted by my insecurities and fears – fear of not being enough, fear of being too much. So I tucked away my true self, my tender heart, my sensitive nature, and instead fabricated a façade of self-confidence and indifference. I built a protective wall that kept others from me, and me from them. In the process I became an expert at masquerading as someone who was courageous, independent and seemingly invincible. And that’s how I pretended to be for a very long time. Too long. Until one day I was gently reminded of who I truly am.

One of the kindest, most loving things one person can do for another is help them remember who they really are. Sometimes our own internal gaze is so skewed - so critical, so judgmental - that it’s hard to see what’s right with us because we’re so focused on what’s wrong. We assume that others see us this way, and that the Universe sees us this way too.

But isn’t it possible that we’re wrong? Is it so hard to believe that we were created perfectly, created exactly how we’re supposed be? Is it so hard to believe that the characteristics we always assumed to be manufacturer’s defects are, instead, gifts given to us by the Creator himself?

If you are doubting, I urge you to turn inward, to ask God for the truth. The answer that you’re looking for will come, although it might not be the answer that you’re expecting. Because while you might fear that He will just reaffirm your vision of you, what He really will do is reaffirm His vision of you. A vision of someone good and kind and smart and beautiful. A vision of someone who is talented and loving and lovable. A vision of someone who is, without a doubt, a gift to this world.